


i just wanna play god for myself

by Anonymous



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Blow Jobs, Demons, Face-Fucking, God Complex, Inspired by Music, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Rough Oral Sex, Verbal Humiliation, san is a god
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 03:27:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28931742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: san is simply a god, living life as a walking sinorin which san is a god trapped in his human form whos angry and channels that into corrupting humans
Relationships: Choi San/Kim Hongjoong
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13
Collections: Anonymous





	i just wanna play god for myself

**Author's Note:**

> YEEEHAWWW hello this fic is inspired by citizens new song “i want to kill you” (listen to it to get a feel for the story).  
> the idea spawned thanks to the absolute genius kodie and he beta read this and added the orange juice story 💛💛💛

_**I’m only alive when I need to be** _

_**I just want to play god for myself** _

_**I just want war and nothing else** _  
  
  
_**Oh it’s just getting worse, it’s worse, it’s worse, it’s worse** _

_**I’ll keep it coming if you want some more** _

the moon is hanging high over the church, a waning crescent, smiling down on the world as if it knows something the humans don't...

__

san is sitting on a tombstone, one leg pulled to his chest, the other dangling off the edge, cigarette hanging between his lips as he drags his breath in lazily.

he's eyeing the church with a sharp stare, searching for any kind of movement and a bystander might think he's an animal lying in wait for prey.

in a way he is.

__

he sees the priest make his way to the church and his eyes darken, he stomps the cigarette out and swallows. there's yearning glistening in his eyes, he just.. wants to get in. needs to get into the church to find solace, but he cant enter unless someone invites him in.

he feels like he's a vampire and it makes his blood boil. a vampire is almost like a human, and he _hates_ that, because san is more than a human, he is a _god_.

__

he sees the big wooden door to the church close, so he sighs again, and flicks the burnt out cigarette away. he leaves, hoping to find his luck elsewhere.

walking the streets of the town aimlessly, he ends up at one of the bars that's crowded by university students on the weekends.

he scans the crowd hungrily, searching for someone who will make him forget he's stuck in this pathetic human form, someone he can show what it's like to be a _god_ . someone he can _corrupt._

"yoooooo,” a voice drags out, dramatically. “san-ah, it’s been a while.”, the bartender, mingi greets with a warm smile.

san grits his teeth together in an effort to return the smile.

"the usual?” mingi ruffles his hair and looks at san with anticipation.

"hmm no, i want something more..“, his eyes land on a man with long blonde hair, feathering around his unfairly pretty features like someone painted them there. " _sweet_ “.

__

"coming right up“, mingi smiles and throws together a cocktail of liquor and juices to get san his quick fix.

“you know,” mingi chuckles as he pours the cloudy orange substance over crushed ice flawlessly, “i once wrote a rap about orange juice in high school.” he slides the drink over to san, who downs it in one go, slides it back, and raises a brow, zoning out as mingi continues his story.

after living for thousands of years, he feels exhausted. It's like he can _feel_ his mortal body deteriorating second by second, like he can literally taste death through his tongue, even though it's decades away which is a long time for mortal beings, but an even longer time for the immortal.

__

san keeps staring at the pretty blonde, thoughts racing and going to places that have his jeans feeling much too constricting and his mouth dry.

__

he takes the drink mingi places in front of him and makes his way through the mass of dancing bodies to reach the diner booth esque sofa the beautiful man is sitting on.

__

hes listening to his friends' jokes and throws his head back in laughter, his adam's apple bobbing up and down. san swallows.

__

he just kinda.. stands there, and doesn't know what to say, but he doesn't have to because one of the other men sitting on the couch speaks up first. he looks out of place with his bright blue hair but his voice fits right in, ringing through the dusty air like the red neon sign on the wall.

__

"lost your way pretty boy huh?“, his mouth twists up into an arrogant smirk and his eyes glint mischievous in the low light of the bar.

__

san scoffs. "pff nah. i just wanted to ask _this_ pretty boy if he wanted a drink“, he gestures to the blonde and the other man chuckles.

"oh is that so“, he taunts and san notices an eyebrow slit. he swallows again.

"then relax pretty boy, and put your money where your mouth is' ', san doesn't even know what that's supposed to imply but he sits down regardless, facing the pretty blonde, who still hasn't said a word, just eyes san with a gaze so calm, it's almost terrifying.

"yeosang“, he nods and brushes a bleached strand out of his face. it makes san want to devour him.

"yeosang. what a pretty name“, sans lips curve around the syllables. "san“, he contnues and returns the steady stare.

__

san ends up buying a drink for yeosang, but yeosang seems cold, withdrawn, and san is not up for solving a puzzle tonight. besides, hongjoong is like an open book and he's _there_ , so san decides to take interest in the way hongjoong’s eyes just _glow_ for no reason, the manner he moves when he talks.

yeosang goes home eventually which leaves san and hongjoong alone in the bar, having a heated debate about nothing, and sitting much closer than necessary, with hongjoong draped over the couch, his head in san’s lap as they bicker.

__

san knocks back a tequila shot and stares down at hongjoong.

"lets get out of here, i know a spot much cooler“, he breathes out and hongjoong smirks, a smirks that san just wants to fuck off of his face.

__

"well if you say so...“ he chimes, grabbing his leather jacket before scooting out of the booth.

_**  
  
  
** _

the cool midnight air hits them in the face and makes the alcohol that much more noticeable. san lights a cigarette while they skip along the boardwalk and inhales deep, leaving tendrils swirling around his head, the moonlight reflecting off of his coal black hair, and giving him a strange, almost mythical look. hongjoongs cheeks are red from the cold and the booze contrasting his blue hair and make him look even more _alive_ , and san wants that; he longs to be truly alive, to be able to blush in the night air.

 __ the walk is mostly quiet, just the sound of their feet trodding over frozen concrete resounding in the air.

__

hongjoong halts and looks at san.

"this is the... cemetery?“,

__

"i know. i wanna show you something“, san takes hongjoongs wrist and gently drags him to the graveyard, to sit on his favourite bench and study the stars.

__

"don't you love the quiet nights? when it's so clear you can almost hear the stars whisper, and the moon giggle“, san says, smiling at the sky above them.

__

hongjoong stares, perplexed for a bit but composes himself quickly. "y-yeah“, he stutters.

"san, let's go inside, it's freezing.“, he says, and san perks up, like a cat that just locked its prey.

"but how are we gonna get in“, he inquires cautiously, sighing impatiently as hongjoong just smiles that mischievous smile and hops off the bench, strutting to the door of the cathedral.

"i clean the confesional every week“, he takes out a keychain that looks so old fashioned it almost makes san laugh, but it gets lodged in his throat with the way hongjoong twirls the keys around his fingers, with that goddamn smirk on his lips.

__

san holds his breath when the door is unlocked, and only starts to breathe again when they pass the border between the pavement and the grandiose floorboards, and the heavy door swings shut behind them.

the silence of the chapel is almost stifling to san, the air so heavy you could cut it with a blade, and he wants to leave immediately, forgetting about why he intended to come here in the first place, but he pushes those thoughts aside and follows hongjoong, who appears to have something else in mind.

__

hongjoong leads him to the confessional, and closes the door. they are close, far too close to each other, and san can feel hongjoongs breath fanning his face. "don't you have things to confess _pretty boy_ “, the other taunts, and his lips brush sans.

"something _filthy_ “, he coos and trails a finger down the silky material of sans blouse.

san crashes their lips together, before yanking on hongjoongs hair, hard, and turning the other around, pressing his face into the wooden door harshly, and whispering in his ear.

"i'll show you something filthy“, he murmurs, breath ragged and hot, and he almost trembles from the sheer volume of blood rushing through his veins.

__

in moments like these, san feels alive, because he _needs_ to be alive for this.

__

he bites hongjoongs earlobe and hongjoong hisses, whimpering softly at the pain. it only riles up san more.

__

"on your knees“, he demands, no trace of sympathy left in his voice. he just wants to corrupt hongjoong, make him impure, wants to _ruin_ him.

__

hongjoong turns around and looks at san with a wary look in his eyes, but the alcohol and sans demanding voice make him give no protest, so he drops to his knees, never breaking eye contact with san, who looks hungrier and more manic by the second.

__

san grabs hongjoongs jaw with his hand and tilts it to the side, lusting at the sight of his neck, the way his veins and muscles are so prominent he can almost see the blood rushing through them.

__

"whos the pretty boy now“, he sneers as he gives a light slap to hongjoongs cheek who just hisses and pants, but doesnt say anything.

__

san unbuckles his jeans and lets it pool by his ankles, and smiles as he sees hongjoongs eyes widen at the tent in his briefs.

"you've had such a big mouth all evening and now youre pussying out on seeing my cock? _pathetic_.“ san spits and the other flinches, as if san was spewing actual venom.

__

"no its“, hongjoong stutters, and peels the briefs off of san, "it's just… you're… so _big_ “.

san chuckles and buries one of his hands in the soft blue hair in front of him. "i know, but youre gonna be a good boy and take all of me okay?“, the other keens into his touch at the pet name, and sans cock twitches. "m gonna fuck your mouth, would you like that, hyung?“, he asks but its more of a dare than a question.

__

"o- of course“, hongjoong shudders and palms san desperately, already pressing his cheek against the thick, veiny appendage as if to worship it, and _oh._

__

he mouths at sans cock and san lets out a groan, which seems to bring back hongjoongs arrogance.

"oh so you're gonna spit big words and then turn into mush the moment i put my lips on you?“, he mocks, "now _that's_ pathetic“.

there's a flash in sans eyes and he yanks hongjoongs head back as hard as he can, causing hongjoong’s mouth to fall open in a silent moan.. "you dont fucking know who you’re talking to do you?“, he seethes, spitting onto hongjoongs tongue, before leaning in close to the oher. "i'm gonna show you who's boss. i'm gonna show you your new god“.

san thrusts into hongjoongs mouth, who's startled at first but promptly relaxes, lazily twirling his tongue around sans cock and stroking what he can’t fit, letting himself be guided by the grip of sans fists in his hair whenever he tongues at the slit just right. san chokes out a moan, bucking his hips and sinking his cock deeper into hongjoongs mouth.

__

"you're taking me so good, joongie, so well for me“, he goes deeper, "think you can take all of me?“, he asks, gripping hongjoong’s hair with both of his hands when hongjong nods softly, before going all the way in, relishing in how wet and hot and _tight_ hongjoong’s throat feels swallowing his cock.

__

"fuck you look so pretty like this“, san mumbles more to himself but hongjoongs eyes light up, like hes desperate for praise, and his jaw goes slack, an invitation for san to take what he truly needs. and he wastes no time, fucking in and out of hongjoongs outh, grunting and going as fast and deep as he can. "god you're so pathetic, just a hole for me to use, and look at how hard you are '', he sneers and looks down at the others crotch, where his cock is straining against his trousers so hard it looks painful. san places the heel of his boot on hongjoong’s crotch, pressing lightly. hongjoong just whines, squeezing his eyes shut and allowing the tears to spill over.

"such a pretty little slut for me“, san coos, and speeds up his pace, snapping his hips into hongjoongs mouth like he was taking him from behind.

hongjoong cups his balls and thats when san just loses it, fucking in and out of his mouth with a brutal pace, until he groans and buries his cock in hongjoongs throat while he cums, and hongjoong swallows it all, looking up at san with a hazy and fucked out stare across his eyes, and when san ruts his boot against hongjoongs crotch once more, he too, is coming, moans tumbling from his lips as he twitches violently.

__

san drags him up on his trembling knees and kisses him, hard.

"whos your god now, _little_ _lamb_ “, he whispers in his ear, rage beginning to simmer in his gut, and he needs to leave, needs to get out of this church before he actually hurts hongjoong.

__

"its you, its you, you’re my god,” hongjoong cries out, and thats all san needs to bolt out of the confessional, and leave as fast as he came, no trace providing evidence for his existence other than the state of hongjoong, who just slumps against the wall, covered in his own cum, and falls asleep, not certain if what he just experienced was real or just an oddly realistic dream.

****  
  


**Author's Note:**

> helloo i hope this was an okay start so please give some feedback if you want :´))))


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